Reflecting on the Third Phase of Life
By Margot Williamson, September 2025Coming to See Life Differently
As we move through life, there often comes a stage when we begin to realise that death is not something that only happens to others. It is part of our own journey too. For some, this can feel unsettling. For others, it can open up space for reflection and even new possibilities.
I think of this as the third phase of life – not the end, but a stage where we become more aware of time, of the lives we have lived, and of what matters most to us now.
Why This Phase Matters
This stage isn’t only about dying — it’s about living more fully. It offers a chance to reflect:
What do I still want to experience?
What relationships or words feel unfinished?
How do I want to live the time that remains?
What is really important to me?
“Pausing to notice that life is finite can bring a sharper clarity about what truly matters.”
Simple Acts, Deep Meaning
Reflection often leads to simple but meaningful actions:
Saying “I love you” to someone important.
Offering or asking for forgiveness.
Saying thank you to someone who mattered.
Doing something that brings joy or peace in daily life.
“These gestures can ease the weight we carry, helping us feel more at peace with ourselves — and with those around us.”
Why It Matters for Families Too
During my years with a bereavement charity, I saw how painful grief can be when important things are left unsaid or undone. Families sometimes avoided open conversations about death, creating silence at a time when honesty and connection were most needed.
Unresolved family quarrels or estrangements often added another layer of pain, leaving people unsure how to grieve or make sense of relationships once someone had died.
When someone is able to speak openly, reflect, and share what’s in their heart, it can ease their own experience — and help those left behind grieve with more peace.
Breaking the Silence
Many families and cultures don’t encourage conversations about death or the later stages of life. Therapy can be a place where these conversations happen gently, with compassion, and at a pace that feels right for you.
I know this personally. As a teenager, I learned that I had a baby sister who died before I was born. My parents never spoke of her — not to me, not to each other, not to anyone. Their silence shaped the atmosphere of our family and left many things unspoken.
It’s one reason I believe so strongly in the importance of talking, grieving, and sharing — for ourselves, and for those we love.
